Worst. Metro. Ever.: Quarterfinals
September 14, 2009

Wondering who to vote for in our Worst. Metro. Ever. bracket? Here's the rundown of the quarterfinalists:


(1) Edmundo Rodriguez vs (6) Jaime Moreno

ER: Beat Matt Knowles, 89:11, Oscar Echeverry 61:39. Pros: Highest overall seed in the bracket... 2nd overall pick of the 1996 supplemental draft... Metro gave up the draft pick that became Eddie Pope to acquire him... Stupid haircut... Absolutely no skill... Immortalized by nickname "Edsucko"... Also nicknamed "Hairball"... One of the first cuts under Carlos Queiroz. Con: Assisted on the first goal in Metro history.

JM: Beat Alfredo Pacheco, 71:29, upset Gilmar 62:38, Taylor Graham 56:44. Pros: Lowest seed remaining... Spent most of his lone season with Metro on injured reserve... After Ray Hudson was fired, would not report to Metro, engineering a trade back to DC. Con: Scored two goals, including one againt the Scum in the 3:2 Eddie Gaven-as-goalkeeper game.


(2) Martin Klinger vs (5) Khano Smith

MK: Beat Alexi Lalas 60:40, Claudio Reyna 55:45. Pros: Arguably the worst player to spend two seasons with Metro... Was completely overmatched on the field... A stick figure... Possibly the worst Project-40 player ever... After letting go by Metro, couldn't stick in the USL... Rumors of shady dealings with Octavio Zambrano are undetermined... One of the first cuts by Bob Bradley. Con: Led to 14 minutes of Klinger-Klinger in a 2001 game vs Chicago.

KS: Beat Sergio Galvan Rey 81:19, upset Joao Luiz, 81:19, Peter Canero 55:45. Pros: Acquired as a replacement for Dave van den Bergh... RBNY gave up an allocation to get him... Absolutely invisible on the field... Could go an hour without touching the ball... Bitched about lack of playing time... Will go down as the worst player on the terrible 2009 team. Con: Caused an own goal against New England.


(1) Steve Shak vs (3) Markus Schopp

SS: Beat Juan Forchetti 83:17, Gabriel Cichero 65:35. Pros: The second worst #1 pick in MLS history (thanks Nik Besango!), drafted over Carlos Bocanegra, Nick Garcia, Danny Califf, Bobby Convey, etc, etc, etc... Was so bad that opposing teams often left him unmarked... Teammates would not pass him the ball... Did we mention he was the first overall pick in the deepest draft in MLS history? Con: Scored a goal against New England. No, really, he did.

MS: Beat Kevin Knight 68:32, upset Kerry Zavagnin 65:35. Pros: Dumped on Metro by Red Bull Salzburg after being deemed too crappy for the "sister club"... Was horrible in the 2006 playoffs... Always injured, and when not, lost spot to rookie Dane Richards... Failed at right midfield and right back... Rumored salary was over a million. Con: He had an assist. Against someone.


(1) Byron Alvarez vs (2) Juan Pietravallo

BA: Beat Branco 56:44, Pedro Alvarez 70:30. Pros: Another of Zambrano's pet projects... Absoultely overmatched on the field... When he played, Metro always lost... Too slow, too awkard, too immobile... Made only one start, in the Open Cup, and was horrible in a loss to Columbus... One of the first cuts by Bob Bradley. Con: Scored four goals during the preseason.

JP: Beat Cristian da Silva 84:16, Kenny Arena 70:30. Pros: A red card waiting to happen... Too slow to read the game, would lunge into challenges seconds late... Nicknamed "Hard Man"... Always went in cleats first... Signed to a two-year guaranteed deal, which tied down Metro salary cap for 2009... Contract terminated, with RBNY eating the salary. Con: Had one good game against DC, shutting down Jaime Moreno.

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