It's not often that we profile Metro record-holders in Osbcure Metro Files, but today is one of these days. Of course, the records are rather... obscure.

Sal Caccavale was drafted in 2007 out of American University in the 19th pick of the now-defunct Supplemental Draft. At the time, he must have not had a clue what lied ahead: a remarkably short yet remarkably productive MLS career.

Caccavale's Metro debut came on May 19th, 2007. Metro was already up 3:0 on Columbus, so Bruce Arena inserted the attacking midfielder to give him his first taste of MLS action in the 88th minute. In injury time, Caccavale received a pass from Sinisa Ubiparipovic, and sent it through traffic and into the Crew net. A rain-soaked celebration followed. Two minutes. One goal. Caccavale would never play in MLS again, cut after the season, apparently to return to college. He would try out with DC Scum and have a stint with Real Maryland of the USL afterward.

Not much of a career, but Caccavale will always have that one goal. That one goal per two minutes (extrapolated, 45(!) goals per game) that stands not only as a Metro, but an MLS record. Remarkable in its obscurity, pointless in its entirety. But we'll take it.

While Caccavale's record is hard to break (one goal in one minute will do it), Gilmar's is a tad more attainable. In fact, for a short time last season, it was taken away by Carlos Johnson. Is that enough of a hint? That's right, Gilmar is Metro's all-time record-holder for red cards per minute of play.

This obscure Brazilian (full name Gilmar Antonio Minelli Batista) played for Nick Sakiewicz's Tampa Bay Mutiny in 1997 and 1998, and did not do too poorly, scoring 12 goals in 30 league and playoff games. He returned to his homeland, and would not have had a chance for a return to MLS if not for a chance meeting in 2001 with the same Sakiewicz in an airport. With mid-season injury replacement Roy Myers suffering a season-long injury himself, Metro was desperate. Who better than a former Sakiewicz player with MLS experience to join the ranks! And he would play well with striker Rodrigo Faria because "both are Brazilians"! (We wish we made that last one up. Sadly, it was a Sakiewicz quote.)

Gilmar did not play will with Faria or anyone else. He was pretty terrible, playing in only eight games, starting three, and registering two assists. But yes... the red cards. Two in 395 minutes: one, in a Merconrote tournament game against Millonarios after elbowing an opponent, the other in a playoff match against the Galaxy after a tackle on Cobi Jones. That is one red card every 197.5 minutes... Johnson? One every 330 minutes. Not even close. (Branco, for those wondering: one every 365. And yes, Johnson would have the record if only MLS games are considered. But they're not.)

Needless to say, Gilmar was quickly sent packing after the season. Back to Brazil it was, first as a player, then as a coach. But the record remained. Are you hearing that, Carlos Johnson? You will need three red cards in 196 minutes to match it. The ball is in your court.