1:2 DC United New York Kamara Romero Gamarra Royer 08.21.19 · League

Stop us if you heard this tale: Metro was up a goal and dominating. The opponent was completely outplayed. Unfortunately, Metro just couldn't find that second one, and then, one stupid mistake, and then...

Tonight started with that script, but didn't follow it, for that ellipsis was followed by a penalty kick call in our favor, and a 2:1 win over the hated DC Scum. But this one wasn't a fairy tale, that's for sure... unless you are into ones with a masochist twist. Heck, we're Metro fans, so we probably are?

In any case, Chris Armas made three changes. Amro Tarek came in for Tim Parker, and Kemar Lawrence, who ended the last match with a knock, sat for Michael Murillo. This swung Rece Buckmaster to the left side for the first time. Brian White's injury meant a rare start for Tom Barlow.

Metro broke the ice just six minutes in. After some exchanges between Marc Rzatkowski and Buckmaster on the left side, DC failed to clear the ball out of the box. It pounced to Alejandro Romero Gamarra, and Kaku sent it into the net.

In the 24th minute, off a Metro corner kick, hair plug enthusiast Wayne Rooney decided to elbow Cristian Casseres in the face, which earned the fat Englishman his marching orders. While up a man, Metro had a chance after Bill Hamid spilled the ball, but Casseres hit the woodwork. On the other end, Robles wasn't bothered, except for one tough save on close-range Paul Arriola shot. Metro was reduced to ten themselves in first half injury time, when Tarek earned an incredibly questionable second yellow when Arriola fell into him.

DC didn't threaten too much early in the second, until the 55th minute, when Ola Kamara sent a ball from outside the box that somehow curled into the upper right corner. With the man advantage gone, so was the one on the scoreboard, and we started to dread what was bound to be a familiar ending.

And then, four minutes later, Murillo took it to the box, got clipped, fell down, and earned a penalty kick. DC protested, their idiot fans threw things on the field, but Daniel Royer calmly stepped up to the spot and perfectly placed the ball within the left post. This story was bound to end differently.

It did so because of Luis Robles, who was phenomenal down the stretch. Even as DC's hacks did their worst to injure the Metro goalkeeper, he made a fantastic save to stop one breakaway. An agonizing eight minutes of injury time were added, which stretched to ten when Aaron Long was taken down. At the end, Metro survived, with Robles once again shutting the door with mere seconds left.

And they all lived happily ever after? If only...

Lineup: Robles, Buckmaster, Long, Tarek, Murillo, Davis, Casseres, Rzatkowski, Romero Gamarra, Royer, Barlow. Subs: Parker, Wright-Phillips, Lawrence.